Home

Home
Home 2018-11-16T01:44:46+00:00

Relationships                                       integrally strengthened                                  

 

 Learn how you can improve your intimate relationship and grow into your full potential

     

Thank-you for visiting my website.

         

This is a location where you can find videos, academic papers, charts or perhaps participate in the latest research I am doing with an integral theory underpinning.

         If you provide your email address or become a member of this website you will be sent links to the latest videos or papers.

        These are all free.   

Is it possible for an intimate couple to develop a collective consciousness where they are using intuition and other subtle energies enabling expansive exploration and heightened presence?  Can both members’ simultaneously enter a space into awareness greater than either could do alone and can they co-create intuitive bursts of insight and revelations? Just what is the potential of the intimate relationship and what is the foundation upon which it stands?

 

BECOME A MEMBER

Creating better intimate relationships is the primary clinical and research interest of Dr Tom Habib. The mission is to help couples to understand the underpinning of their relationship, to grow together and learn ways to promote development.

Membership contains free advice (via video recordings) and connection via group forum. Paid membership is available for specific questions and advice.

Videos 

Part I  Tom Habib, Ph.D. "Intimate Couples becoming 2nd tier explorers" The Couples Line - Intimate Couples Growing-Up Together The whole conversation and all the info around the show at the Wisdom Factory Website (click here) Please consider to subscribe to The Wisdom Factory YouTube Channel at http://bit.ly/YT-WF

By | August 30th, 2017|Categories: Videos|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Part II of Tom Habib, Ph.D. "Intimate Couples becoming 2nd tier explorers".  The specific technique to achieve couple we space is described in this segment. The whole conversation and all the info around the show at TheWisdomFactory.net (click  here) Please consider to subscribe to The Wisdom Factory YouTube Channel at http://bit.ly/YT-WF (or click HERE)

By | August 30th, 2017|Categories: Videos|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Part III Tom Habib, Ph.D. “Intimate Couples becoming 2nd tier explorers”     Eight Directives to achieve We-Space All 4 parts of the conversation and all the graphs and tables shown in the video can be downloaded at  TheWisdomFactory.net You can also click HERE Please consider to subscribe to The Wisdom Factory YouTube Channel at http://bit.ly/YT-WF (or click HERE)

By | August 30th, 2017|Categories: Videos|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Part IV  Tom Habib “Intimate Couples becoming 2nd tier explorers” The Couples Latice - Stages and States The whole conversation and all the info around the show at TheWisdomFactory.net  or http://bit.ly/TomHabib Please consider to subscribe to The Wisdom Factory YouTube Channel at http://bit.ly/YT-WF (or click HERE)

By | September 3rd, 2017|Categories: Videos|Tags: |0 Comments

Intimate Couples becoming 2nd tier explorers  This is a full version of the conversation with Dr. Tom Habib with Heidi & Mark in The Wisdom Factory. (http://bit.ly/TomHabib) The version labelled Parts 1-4 above are edited copies of this full version that also has explanations, graphs, and photos to help those new to Integral Theory. Otherwise thay are identical copies. You can also listen to this as a podcast and find the respective charts referred to in the audio at TheWisdomFactory.net HERE Please consider to subscribe to The Wisdom Factory YouTube Channel at http://bit.ly/YT-WF (or click HERE)

By | September 3rd, 2017|Categories: Videos|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Podcasts

00:00 Introductions and mechanics

02:53 First question for Tom.  Why is reaching  “we space” more difficult for intimate couples than for others? Tom explains that couples carry so much “baggage” that it’s actually harder to get past it into a “higher” state than for others with whom there is no history. This is true even for “integral” couples with their complicated relationships.

06:50 “Thinking” integral isn’t enough, and often not necessary

08:49 Great Rumi quote

09:30 Lower right is slow to develop, we often have an upper left bias

10:10 The Couples Line of Development chart: Tom introduces the levels

1 – Safety and attraction

2 – Roles

3 – Relational

4 – First Love  

5 – Spiritual

13:00 How to get from Relational to First Love.  Heidi wants clarification. Tom explains the persistence of earlier stages even at the relational level (where therapy typically stops!)

15:54 The goal is to develop the intimate we space .  See chart: resonance and shared feeling. Tom gives directions and examples…and Heidi throws a curve.

19:00 Eye gazing! Leads to a resonating feeling (May takes months of practice!)

22:00 Resonance can extend beyond the couple to others not present then or there (non local awareness)

23:00 It gets easier to enter the we space and is sought out, is easy to initiate

25:00 Some impediments for some couples, stability is required

26:50 Not limited neither temporally nor geographically, no need to be together, power places

31:00 (box) Staying in First Love seems not to be permanent, most time is spent in Relational. Persistence of even lower stages.

33:50 States and Stages chart: collective states parallel individual ones but tend to eventually predominate.  Tom gives an example (Helen Palmer) and leads us up the serpentine chart.

39:30 Heidi gives personal testimony of this serpentine nature. Maybe a SPIRAL?

41:45 Preparing for the exercise. (See chart for the couples themselves) a quick aside to current politics which may apply to couples – and vice versa.  Heidi explains.

47:07 Be careful with item 4! Possible jealousy if one’s partner enters a we space with someone other than the partner. 2 examples from Tom’s experience.

50:50 Tom’s paper in 2016 Journal of Integral Theory and Practice. At a high level, fidelity can become a problem because it’s easy to really love others.  Keith Witt’s “confession to Jeff Salzman that he “falls in love with all (his) patients.”  It will get complicated!

53:14 New chart: Skills and Couples Stage: at Roles stage, unfinished individual issues arise rather than relationship issues. Emotional discipline required! Also merger can be confused with communion. You need an ego before you can dissolve it!  Where does that couples line break down?

58:05 Mark asks about the “amalgamation” of the lower left and lower right

1:01:00 Material for another podcast! Continuing with the chart: the wound as an entry point. The lower expression can be exploited by politicians , etc.

1:06:00 Moving up the chart to First Love, in contrast to the reactive stages, a rational way to deal with problems leading possibly to a unity experience

1:09:38 Jumping to the ownership of projection, how to question if it’s present or not. Tom claims that in the BEST relationships, the rate of projection is 50% and everyone else approaches 100% projection! Our own history with this.

1:13:30 the subtle stages these projections re-appear as later on so we can read deeper and deeper now that the lower right structures are in place.

1:15:30 Plans for the next Integral European Experience, wish lists. Lower right work

1.16:50 How to reach Tom: drtomhabib@gmail.com. Last words, thank you’s, goodbye’s

Latest Posts

Higher Stages of Couple Love

The Couples Line of Development specifies the developmental tasks for each of the 5 Stages of Development. In his clinical practice with couples Dr. Habib is finding that [...]

Intimate Couples Habib and Ucik at The Wisdom Factory Two relationship experts share ideas and advice. Our guests are Dr. Tom Habib and Martin Ucik, the author of [...]

How to Prevent Couples from Snorkeling Mud Puddles  Heidi, Mark and Tom met at the Integral European Conference, 2016 in Siofok/Hungary where his presentation was well received. Heidi [...]